Friday, October 26, 2007
Unhappy....
This is a very bad week for me, I went to school only on monday while the rest of the days including today resting at home.
Had a bad diarrhoea on monday after coming back from school. Never had such experience before, visiting the toilet once every hours and vomiting twice during the mid-nite. The worst duration is between 12am to 7am, then i went to visit the doctor.
Monday to Wednesday was the worst life of my week.... been a long time since i was so sick.
Actually i chould had go to school yesterday, but seeing the toilt is in use, i went back to rest and slp again. thus stay in home whole day again.
But after my short nap at around 5 - 7pm, my head was damn pain. Laying back on the bed or trying to slp did not help, so went to visit doctor again.
Doctor say i am too stressed , nt happy, watever, that true la...
My self-expectation is too high, and i not had been happy since my secondary 3 life afterall.
My final project deadline is ending soon, still my group and have nt been doing any much progress.
Current module include E.Maths, i am nt too scare of maths but i really wan to do well... But den, always the same reason, i always try to take out the book to do, but dun have the mood to do so. My problem for the past few yrs, due to my disgusted room.
Financial problem, this is definitely my main problem. It had never improve, instead it seem to me tat it is even worst nw.
I just hate to be in this home or watever so, I just wish to enter NS asap to get rid of all the stress or trobles that i am facing.
Mother always say no money, while i did nt ask money from her for my own stuffs. Just that she had to pay for the bills and give me money to eat. Wat most irritate me is that, she always ask when my salary come and she will ask me to lend her 1st.
It's really fan lor..., I wan to buy things too....
But the problem is that, i dun even earn enough for myself. I had chose to work less so tat i wun get too tired while schooling.
Of cos i understand, i should give her part of my salary or help the house. But me is me i am working very hard to please myself, i had try to control as much as i can already.
If there new toys for me, i may as well die. It's my main source of joy or content.
Hmm... of cos all the above unhappinese can be throw away if only i have a girl. Of cos frens are alrite too.
I really hate to stay at home nw, but i have any money to go out with frens. and also... its been a long time since i last go out with any of my frens.
Mother told me to be happy with what i have nw, i also know i should be content with the thing i have nw, but... i just take tat.
Argh... really hate my life. I am try and working hard to improve nw.
Everywhen please don't close your eyes.
